Is doubting one's pardon and acceptance an evidence of a humble spirit?
There is much forged humility among many of the dear saints of God. It is thought by some that to be always doubting one's pardon and acceptance is the evidence of a lowly spirit. It is, allow us to say, the mark of the very opposite of a lowly and humble mind. True humility credits the testimony of God, believes because He has spoken it, and rests in the blood and righteousness and all-sufficiency of Jesus because He has declared that whosoever believeth in Him shall be saved. Genuine lowliness, the blessed product of the Eternal Spirit, is to go to Jesus just as I am, a poor, lost, helpless sinner; to go without previous preparation; to go glorying in my weakness, infirmity, and poverty, that the free grace, and sovereign pleasure, and infinite merit of Christ might be seen in my full pardon, justification, and eternal glory. There is more unmortified pride, self-righteousness, and that principle that would make God a debtor to the creature, in the refusal of a soul fully to accept of Jesus, than is suspected. There is more real, profound humility in a simple, believing venture upon Christ, as a ruined sinner, taking Him as all its righteousness, pardon, and glory than it is possible for any mortal mind to fathom. Doubt is ever the offspring of pride; humility is ever the handmaid of faith.
But imperfectly may the doubting Christian be aware what dishonor is done to
Jesus, what reflection is cast upon His great work, by every unbelieving fear he
cherishes. It is a secret wounding of Jesus, however the soul might shrink from
such an inference; it is a lowering, an undervaluing of Christ's obedience and
death, that glorious work of salvation with which the Father has declared
Himself well pleased, that work with which divine justice has confessed itself
satisfied, that work, on the basis of which every poor, convinced sinner is
saved, and on the ground of which millions of redeemed and glorified spirits are
now basking around the throne, that work we say is dishonored, undervalued,
and slighted by every doubt and fear secretly harbored or openly expressed by a
child of God. The moment a believer looks at his unworthiness more than at the
righteousness of Christ and supposes that there is not a sufficiency of merit in
Jesus to supply the absence of all merit in himself before God is but a
setting up his sinfulness and unworthiness above the infinite worth, fulness,
and sufficiency of Christ's atonement and righteousness.